I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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