is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
