Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
