I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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