we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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