batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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