Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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