omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
