We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you never un-have a 4some
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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