all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
