They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
