so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize