Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
