Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Rumble strips road head = magical
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You don't make any sense
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