oh god the rape fog is back!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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