You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
