All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
