i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
