I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
me + whiskey = a bad person
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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