I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
