I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
