gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
