Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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