smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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