the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
