I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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