He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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