if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
