Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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