I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
