five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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