return my video game
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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