Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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