You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
