It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
