I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
