Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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