Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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