There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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