Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
