come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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