singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
