We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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