Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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