i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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