I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
