Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
