it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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