I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
