Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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