we have officially mastered the walk of shame
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
