Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
