Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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