Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
