So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
is wine microwaveable?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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