i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
