Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
