Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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