Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
