conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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