I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
