i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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