Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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