She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
