your thong is hanging out like whoa
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize