i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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