So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
