Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize