She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
