I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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