Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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