So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
