If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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