This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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