How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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