Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
