We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
