What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
